I can’t believe that I’m about to quote an Oprah Show. This will no doubt please my wife and give John more fodder at work, but here it goes… I remember seeing one Oprah about your body language when you come home. What’s the first thing your kids see when you walk through that door?

In simpler terms, which one of the Seven Dwarfs will your child see? I try to remember this not only when I’m opening up my door to come home, but also when I’m opening my door to guests for a dinner party. Sounds simple enough, right?

Smooth and simple goes right out the window when 4:25 magically replaces 3:00 on your stove, and you begin to wonder what the heck you were thinking when you wrote f-i-v-e-o’-c-l-o-c-k on the invitation?!? Wait. Maybe the 4:25 is the temperature of the oven and not the time… You take a breath and survey the kitchen, but there is no referee in sight to see you’re signaling for a full time out. It’s official, that 4:25 is now 4:30 which gives you 30 minutes before the guests arrive. You’re trying to check things off of your list and make sure that you still have 5 minutes, no 2 minutes to shower, and is your face too scratchy cause you might need to shave too, so make that 1 minute. In a moment of pure brilliance you grab your toddler and have him start cutting chives with his plastic purple scissors that aren’t even sharp enough to cut class with, but hey, it’s a start.

Was that the doorbell?!? You open the door at 4:45 and it’s the first guests of the evening. “Great!” You want to shut the door. “Hi!” What happened to LA traffic? “Welcome, welcome!” Maybe they’ll slip on one of your son’s trains? Too far?

Sufficed to say that’s the lesser known “I bit off more than I could chew” Dwarf opening your front door. (He missed the final cut by a scene or two.)

I have learned a great many things from Teri, and one that I still use time and time again, is to have the appetizers all ready to go right before the guests arrive. This doesn’t have to mean a pint of sour cream, a packet of French Onion Dip, and a bag of Ruffles – not that there’s anything wrong with that. What it’s missing is the aroma. Where’s that scent that beckons your guests to take a small peak into your kitchen, hoping to catch a sneak preview of the night’s indulgences and libations? The Pastry Kiss Line bakes up for the first time when you remove the plastic film and bake them in right their container, on a foil lined sheet, in a preheated 400 degree oven, for 25-30 minutes. Your home will smell like a bakery, your other dishes will garner the attention that they deserve, and the first thing your guests will see when you open the door (you did ask your toddler to pick up his trains right?) is Happy, the “I ordered all natural handmade appetizers from The Perfect Bite Co.” Dwarf.

So when that clock mysteriously jumps ahead, know that you have an arsenal of flavor in your freezer just waiting to be baked up in your oven. If you order extra, there might just be some left for you.

-Michael